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How a healthy self-worth leads to a thriving life

Ava stepped into the office with a step that was a cross between a catwalk and a bounce, with a lot of confident swag and the brightest smile. It wasn’t a show, what she felt inside was simply spilling out into everything on the exterior and it was contagious.

“Hmm, na wa oh. This one that you have been glowing like this and have refused to tell us the secret. Who is this man that is making you shine like this?” Her office bestie-turned-sister, Alero was curious and had not stopped asking her about this secret lover of hers.

Ava chuckled and retorted, “Secret lover indeed, so a girl cannot be a baby girl for herself and all by herself abi?” Alero replied, “Babe, you have to show us the way oh. This your glow sef is enough to package and resell. E too enter person eye.”

In the last three months, Ava had undergone such a remarkable transformation from the almost invisible, stammering, badly dressed young lady to this version that left everyone wondering what had happened. She was one of the most intelligent brains in her organisation but it did not translate into a stellar performance.

The only reason why she was still employed there was because the executive director knew her outstanding academic antecedents and kept hoping that the genius, he knew she was would one day show up.

Ava had grown up with her aunty because her own parents were not economically viable. Her father had told his younger sister about his very intelligent daughter and begged her to do him the favour of ensuring that she got a good quality education.

Her aunty kept the promise but kept reminding Ava of her worthlessness. No matter how well she did at school, her aunty never seemed to think she was good enough.

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“You scored 90% and so what? If you were so good, you’d have made 100%. Please allow us to drink water in this house with your scores. You are just a worthless child.” Her aunty’s words and behaviour towards her had made Ava unconsciously develop a deep sense of unworthiness.

When she went shopping, she’d buy the cheapest things she could find regardless of her ability to afford way better. She seemed to attract people who put her down and could not see any good in her. She also did not believe that she had anything valuable to say at work and seldom said anything at strategy and planning meetings.

One day she came across an Instagram post that shifted her mindset about the way she saw herself. The article talked about how people and authority figures sometimes project their insecurities on others and how their opinions do not have to become templates by which we live.

It was as if the floodlights in her mind came on. She realised that she had been living by her aunty’s opinion that she was a worthless person. She retraced her steps down memory lane and noticed how she had made many decisions from a place of worthlessness and was gutted.

After a good cry, Ava decided that she would go in the opposite direction of worthlessness; VALUE. Every decision she made going forward would be from a place of value. That one tweak to her mindset started a ripple effect that had been sustained in the three months since she decided that she was valuable.

She started to show up more confidently, would speak up when asked questions and even volunteer to lead projects. She no longer befriended people that treated her like a doormat, and even completely changed her wardrobe to reflect value. She was in a happy place and very productive and loved the new improved Ava.

When we see ourselves as valuable and worthy of the best, it translates into treating ourselves well, choosing nourishing and beneficial relationships, investing in our mind and body, and generally making choices that are in our best interest.

Many good things come from understanding your value, and it’s not pride to acknowledge your value too.

My affirmation:


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