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The theory & practice of BATiocracy (2)

By Ik Muo

Last week, I introduced the concept of BATiocracy and went on to highlight its two principles: promise-based management and full-time blame-trading. Today, I start with the third principle, which is majoring in the minor (MITM).

This BATist government ignored the 25 strategic recommendations of the National Conference and decided to implement the one on the old (and now new) National Anthem because, according to the Oga at the very top, Nigeria’s diversity should be protected and respected. But one mischievous fellow has justified it by arguing that since the people are so hungry and sickly to ‘arise’, it is easier for them to just hail! People are now asking for the old police uniform, old official cars, old state house, old salaries for political office holders, and old fuel, gas, and rice prices, while Barr Idam has described it as a desperate attempt to distract public attention.

In any case, one thing is verifiably certain: the old anthem makes a painful mockery of our current realities. They subsidised the Hajj with N94bn, which is more than what is available for 60,000 students who have already applied for the educational loan, while TEETFUND is celebrating because a mere N3.8bn was invested in 1500 academics. Actually, the amount with which the Lagos State Government subsidised each pilgrim (N150,000) is still more than what each loan beneficiary would receive.

It is because of MITM that he removed the petroleum subsidy as directed by the spirit but ignored the other subsidies like the indescribable opulence and unparallelled squandering of riches, and he has not bothered much about the minimum wage of those who had borne the consequences of the subsidy quagmire for one whole year. That is why the Calabar-Lagos highway of N15trn came out of the blues and received ‘take a bow’ treatment while ignoring ALL abandoned projects, including those started by OBJ. That is why we are dilly-dallying on the N494000 minimum wage demand that could take people home, enhance disposable income, and boost the economy, arguing that the N9.5 trillion wage bill would crash the economy.

Meanwhile, our senators are allegedly earning N30 million monthly, while Gabon and Equatorial Guinea are paying the equivalents of N357,000 and N324000 as minimum wages, respectively.

 “Meanwhile, our senators are allegedly earning N30 million monthly, while Gabon and Equatorial Guinea are paying the equivalents of N357,000 and N324000 as minimum wages, respectively.”

Another principle is the enthronement and consolidation of a ‘kinship corporation’, alias nepotism and clannishness. Beyond having a position for every member of his family, the Lagos crowd, the Oduduwa brothers, and members of the BATist Convention have taken over everywhere, starting from the commanding heights of the economy: the Central Bank, Customs, Ministry of Finance, Economic Planning, and AMCON. It also includes every other position that catches the fancy of Oga at the top, including Natural Resources and Blue Economy (wetin be dis one sef?) and the Digital axis: Digital Bridge Institute, Nigerian Communications Satellite, and Galaxy Backbone. In the judiciary, Justice Ariwola is the CJN, his brother is the Chief Auditor, his nephew is a justice of the Court of Appeal, and his son is a judge of the Federal High Court. The Deputy Directors of Finance and Administration are his relatives, while two Deputy Chief Registrars are from his village. After looking at what is happening with our judicial system under the headship of Ariwola, Dr Onwuzuroha concluded that ‘The enthronement of the kingship corporation in every facet of the Nigerian ecosystem is COMPLETE’!

Another principle is profaning the sacred or making a mockery of serious issues. How else do you describe the NASS singing ‘on your mandate, we shall stand’, rather than the now banished national anthem? Or is the Senate President making a mockery of ‘let the poor breathe’? Other principles include managing with impulse and fighting inflation with inflationary policies (which I discussed recently), a laughable sense of priority, like using more than what they need to resuscitate Ajaokuta Steel Mill to buy cars for NASS members, or launching housing schemes for Nigerians in the UK, Canada, and US while those at home sleep under the bridge.

Hypocrisy, which is doing what they condemned, like borrowing and printing money, in which they are beating the records of PMB and those who protested against the fuel price of N87 and the dollar rate at N200, now defending the fuel price of N800 and the exchange rate of N1500 and still counting; government propaganda or lies, the latest being the Dubai Visa Matter and foreign investment by Maersk; seeking foreign investors while frustrating the foreign and indigenous investors in Nigeria; rowing in different directions, like the recent spat between Ngelale and Onanuga on presidential speech on May 29, and “babacracy” (deification and continuous ‘doballeing’ for the Oga at the very top). The last is the enthronement of TINUBUlation, which is so special that it requires to be treated on a stand-alone basis.

People have been asking what the government has achieved in the last 12 months. The achievements are numerous and include the enthronement of CourTocracy, the practicalisation of BATiocracy, and taking us 61 years backwards by reintroducing, with supersonic speed, the old-new national anthem, ‘designed’ by the colonial masters. As for me, I have no opinion on the matter, but all my readers are encouraged to join the debate on the first year of BATiocracy by undertaking this simple exercise.

Compare the inflation, interest and exchange rates, external reserve, public debt, diesel and fuel prices, transport fares, food inflation, and the number of people killed and abducted between May 29 and May 28 and then make up your mind. We should not be asking for light in broad daylight.

Enjoy the one year of BATiocracy!


Ik Muo, PhD, Dept of Business Admin, OOU, Ago-Iwoye. 08033026625